Seven-year-old tells all

Hi Eli. So your brother is going away to sleepaway camp this year for the first time. He’ll be gone for most of the summer. What do you think it’s going to be like to be the only kid at home?

I won’t even be the only kid. There won’t be a kid at home, some of the time, partly. I am going to be at summer camp most of the day.

Good point. What do you think you’ll miss about your brother when he is away?

Wrestling. And also pretending that he is a very big hot water bottle. I actually stick my hands in his shirt.

But when you can have the whole couch to yourself, and all the blankets, will that be really satisfying? Or boring?

Eh. I can also get on his bed with nobody shouting at me.

Will you go on his bed if he isn’t there to shout at you?

I’ll probably sit on it. It’s really cozy. One thing that I will miss is his oatmeal. He makes really good oatmeal. And also then you would have to make oatmeal sometimes.

I guess I would.

But oatmeal is more of a winter thing. Not much of a summer thing. So Able is going to be home the entire winter?

Yes, he’ll be home before winter.

And I don’t have to compete with Able for chores.*

You compete with Able for chores?

So I can earn some money.

Do you want to earn some money this summer?

Yes. Five dollars. In quarters. Or maybe pennies. That would be a lot of pennies.

Have you spent a lot of time with your brother this year?

It’s hard not to. We do kind of have a tiny house.

Do you ever go outside to try to hide from your brother?

Uhhh, I mostly often try to find him sometimes.

Why do you want to find him?

I have no idea.

What do you do when you find him?

Ask him a question.

Like what?

“Do you want to play a game?”

* Fact check: That is so far from what happens here it’s laughable.